There is something called Space

that was a saturday night and all three of us were having our regular late night walk. It was not as if we are health conscious and enjoy regular daily walk. It can be held true, up to an extent, for me but not at all for my friends Jimmi and Nia. we always go for a walk after dinner because we were too lazy and dull to experiment with something interesting and new.the entire college used to go out for outing to exotic and beautiful locations as Pune is gifted with so many lovely beaches and fabulous locations for trekking. Lonavala, khandala, goa, khadakwasla was regular thing for most of the Simsite. But we hardly visited any place throughout our 2 years in SIMS hostel because we were lazy ass, good at planning but bad at implementing. After the initial high on a couple of instances, i got it very well in my head. It helped me in maintaining my calm and i always look forward to this after dinner walk.

that night, I dont know how but all of a sudden, we broke into a discussion cum agrument which was not something unusual for us. I was just wondering that why is it that girls after marriage become so dependent on her husband for every small and miscellaneous matter. Why is it that a wife loses her independence, identity and thus, soon she loses respect also before her husband. In majority of cases, one cannot question her dedication and devotion but still she suffers the trauma.

I have seen instances where wife accompany her husband even in an all-guys party. Why cant she understand that her presence is not welcome in such parties. Why cant she leave her husband alone for a while. When guys hangout together, they crack PJ, NVJokes, gossip( ya, guys gossip too) discuss their affairs, heartburn and you can expect them to lead a discussion on any weird topic. So, she ultimately creates an awkward situation where her presence is not wanted. Same can be held true for guys as well. have you ever seen a guy coming to an all-girls party? Generally, guys are somehow smart enough not to come for such parties but exceptions are everywhere. I have seen the kind of feedback such silly husband receives from other females . So, why make fool of oneself. One should maintain her/his dignity and try to understand the situation. My friend Jimmi shared with us one incident where one of her friend was going to meet his previous college roommates. They planned an action packed night with sutta, Alcohol and ofcourse some petty discussion over girls and ex-affairs. But the guy’s wife meghna was not willing to leave him alone. She accompanied him to his ex-roommate place. Her presence left no option for them but to have regular dinner and watch TV. Later on, after noticing that meghna is busy surfing channels, the guys moved to another room in house. But the dumb lady followed them there as well.

I strongly believe that female should not lose her identity and independence for anyone, come what may. If you cannot respect yourself then nobody will respect you. Too much dependence can make your partner feel trapped in this kind of relationship. He starts searching for different avenues to seek freedom. A female should always understand that everybody needs their space to think, act and have fun. Since he is married or committed to her, it never means that she has got authority to dictate terms to him. She should understand that such gesture will lead to a sour relationship. Same is true about husband too. I have seen instances where the guy is so possessive that he just cant bear his wife or girl friend hanging out and having her own friend circle. I am telling you that from my personal experience. one should understand, whether male or female, that how long can anyone survive by only talking to each other and hanging out with each other. Everybody have their set of friend and occasionally one like to hang out with friends.

One of the reason for this chronic dependence is that women changes her friend circle after marriage. she thinks that now her responsibility lies towards her husband ( that is the way girls are brought up in India). Same is not true about all males. they have their own circle and once in a blue moon they like to hang out with guy friends. The female become so dependent that she want to accompany him everywhere. No denying that we all like to be cared, loved and pampered but there should not be overdose. Too much sugar also leaves a bad taste in mouth. So, maintaining distance occasionally cannot be as bad an idea.


I request all the readers to share with me if they had ever experienced any similar kind of incident.